On August 2nd, 2021, I made a post on my twitter account announcing that I'm now lesbian instead of bi. It's my most popular post to date (for whatever reason), but the reception was pretty surprising to say the least. A LOT OF MY FRIENDS AND MUTUALS ALREADY THOUGHT I WAS LESBIAN? Which was very funny to me, because all I do on twitter is talk about how much I love old women and draw bimbos and dykes so it makes sense why everyone already saw what I couldn't. I mean, the signs were EVERYWHERE. But, I think my webcomic, Red & Teresa had to be the biggest telltale sign (which is even funnier because one of the main themes of my webcomic is a black lesbian discovering that she just has comphet and look at me now lmfao). I feel like it had a part to play in me realizing my identity, so that's a special thanks I can only give to Red and Teresa, who are so dear to my heart. It definitely took me a while to get to this point to come to this realization, and since it's my "lesbianniversary" (as I like to call it!) I just wanted to do some reflecting over the past year in terms of what I've discovered about myself, how it's helped my grow into myself, and my own unique relationship with lesbianism!
So, anyways the night I realized I was lesbian I had read this carrd about comphet (that's compulsory heterosexuality for those who don't know...also I would link the carrd, but I can't find it right now lol) and I was ruminating over it alot. What was painfully obvious to others I had to very carefully consider. Was I actually attracted to men or is it comphet? For the longest time, I wished I was lesbian instead of bi because I did not (and do not) care for men very much at all. The idea of dating or marrying one was not appealing to me even when I was a little KID, but I knew I still wanted to be married someday. Anywys, I only thought I was bi because I found a small percentage of men attractive like...0.0001% of the time (I can now happily say that I'm confident enough in my sexuality to admit when a man is attractive without feeling like a "faker" or a phonie). But even still. I was still...worried. SCARED even! I was worried about being a "fake lesbian" or identifying as lesbian for a little bit before going right back to being bi (thankfully, this did not happen). I was also worried because my (extremely conservative) African parents are really banking on me marrying a man instead of a nonman (but that was the least of my worries at the moment)...BUT THEN. I had an epiphany. I was not attracted to men. I was attracted to masculinity. I love butches and dykes so much. Masculinity looks so fucking good on nonmen. I love older women a lot too. This realization hit me like a truck and literally made my eyes fill up with tears. I had only put so much value into the attention and affirmation of men because well...society told me that as a "girl" (lol) I should because that's how you know that you're "desirable" (and as a kid, my self esteem was so bad, I searched for any outside validation/confirmation of my value as a person anywhere I could get it)!! And now I was finally free from that ideology that's been ingrained into me since I could form a full sentence. Literally one of the most pivitol and liberating moments of my life. And then that's when I decided to draw that picture lmao. And it's safe to say that ever since joining the lesbian community, I have not been more comfortable with my sexuality and in who I am any other time in my entire life than I am right now! Though, I feel like I still have a lot to learn when it comes to navigating through dating as a lesbian (I have not dated anyone yet since identifying as lesbian, so I feel like I still have a lot to learn!). So, if I were to make a "Lesbianniversary" wish, I WISH for a hot MILF gf or a fine ass butch gf/bf!!!!!! Either one would be great!! I hope to grow and learn more about myself and lesbianism through the relationships I create and nurture during this time in my life.
Hmm, well, anyways. I think that's about it! Pretty short I know, but I guess I don't really have any more deep or complex thoughts on this. It's pretty simple to me really. I'm just glad I figured it out when I did. I just love women, femme lesbians, masc lesbians, nonbinary lesbians, trans lesbians, lesbianism, and lesbians!!!!!! Happy Lesbianniversary to me!!!!!!!!
Thanks for reading!!
- Webmaster Ike