♡September 28th, 2023♡ 10:58 pm
Ike is listening to..."Softly" by Clairo
I think tonite's journal is going to be short and kinda venty. Urmhh...I'm not really sure where to start lol! I've been hiding away from everyone for the past few days again because I've been feeling suicidal as fuck suddenly. I don't know, I guess sometimes it's just hard to have hope when you see everyone living better lives around you while you continue to struggle financially, mentally, and...emotionally? No matter how hard you try. I don't know how to really explain it. I don't know, I hate being so pessimistic and I really do try to be optimistic about the future, but the harsh reality is that nothing in life is guaranteed. I feel like no matter what I do or try I'm met with denial or some sort of road block...I'm starting to think that people who do get to live the "ideal life" (good job, great relationships, own place, strong community/local friend groups, etc.) are truly the lucky ones. ESPECIALLY IN TODAY'S ECONOMY...but, I won't rant anymore about that and inflation because we all know how I feel about all that stuff. Well, anywho. The only way I've been able to cope with this is just doodling. Maybe working on some pages and sections I've been putting off for a while now will help get my mind off of somethings too. I don't know, just feeling really alone. Hopefully, tomorrow I will be in the right headspace to talk to my friends, but I'm not going to rush or force myself to do so either...though, I really do need to post on Patreon...well. I don't think I have much of a choice at this point. But! Let's try to end this on somewhat of a good note lol. I got $30 gift card today, so I used that to buy some nail polish from Cirque colors. Their nail polish looks very nice and high quality, so I can't wait until it arrives so I can try it out. Regardless, I hope you're having a good nite tonite. Take care.
- Ike ／(˃ᆺ˂)＼
♡September 20th, 2023♡ 11:22 pm
Ike is listening to..."Ebony & Ivory" by Stevie Wonder and Paul McCartney
YOU REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU GOT UNTIL IT'S GONE HUH...this week, my favorite coworker, my FRIEND, got fawking FIRED. I was so shocked, I literally thought she was joking at first...but before I knew it, she was deleted off of Slack! ∑(O_O;) Like, honestly, she was really the only thing keeping me at this damn job like. What the Hell am I going to do now? I lowkey can't help but feel a little jealous of her though...not having to worry about work the next day...must be nice. Unfortunately, I pay for everything on my own, so I don't have that luxury. MAN...when is my rich MILF girlfriend gonna come along and take care of everything for me. WELL...NOT EVERYTHING BUT. WHATEVER. I'm so tired of working a damn 9-5 especially one with shit pay, lying ass management, and where you have to deal with customers all damn day. I'm really going to go hard with this nail tech stuff I want to get into. Like. Look around. The job market is such shit these days it's truly alarming. LIKE...people SAY that they're hiring, but are not actually hiring and then even when they are, why they Hell is the position only like. 9 bucks an hour. PAY PEOPLE WHAT THEY'RE WORTH...And don't get me started on all of this damn INFLATION. It is just tew much. We live in a world where teenagers struggle to even get hired at MCDONALDS of all places these days. Like, at this point, you really don't have much of a choice but to just create a damn job yourself and become an entrepeneur. Oof, I didn't mean for todays entry to turn out so negative but it's so hard out here it's starting to get fawking outrageous. Anyways, I believe in myself enough to build the life I want, so I will try regardless...I was going to rant about 80s magical girl anime a little bit tonite as well, but I'm too tiredt I fear. And I thought I had low energy before...COVID really got me fucked up. Either way, that's all from me tonite. Take it easy.
- Ike ／(˃ᆺ˂)＼
♡September 10th, 2023♡ 11:25 pm
Ike is listening to..."Feeling Lonely" by boy pablo
Guess who's been sick with COVID for almost a week!! That's right. It's meeeeee. I got COVID from my mom and been out of work since Wednesday...I didn't have it as bad as her, and it sucks that I had to miss work but...I don't know. I don't mind it all too much! I really like having a break from my shit job. Not to mention I'm gonna be getting some type of paid leave, so it's not like I'm going to have a huge hole in my finances or anything. I've really been enjoying my time off, even if I have been as sick as a dog lol. But, who knows the next time I will get a nice long break from work like this! Gotta enjoy having all the free time of a NEET while I still can. We'll see when I will have to go back to work though, my test still came back positive today, so I can't go back into work tomorrow and some of this week either...not that I'm complaining much anyways! Also side note, I changed the background back because it matches the colors of my layout of the blog pages much better, it was just bothering me too much to leave it as is. I guess my blog format is perfect just the way it is! Anyways, stay healthy and take care of yourself! ( ´ ▽ ` )/
- Ike ／(˃ᆺ˂)＼
♡September 2nd, 2023♡ 8:43 pm
Ike is listening to..."Signs" by iiso
It's the beginning of the month!! (^０^)ノ SO, I decided it was time I give my blogs a new look after all...what do you think?! It's not a HUGE change, but I like it! It's different enough AND it matches the feeling of September I think! I've mostly spent today working on art and doing other miscellanious (?) projects. Though, sometimes it feels like no matter how much I work, I never get much done! It's like being in a hamster wheel almost...Anyways, I did end up going to that bakery yesterday. I got a cheesecake, three milk cream buns, and an ube latte! I am not joking when I say that the ube latte was easily one of the tasiest things I have ever DRANKEN. It was so cute and the color was unique. The milk cream buns were super sweet and tasty too! (o･ω･o) I finished the last one today and I want more already...I hate driving in that part of town, but for more tasty treats like that I might make it a habit to drive up there twice a month or so lol. I'll look into it and see if they do delivery as well...(☆▽☆) I didn't like the cheesecake much though...the texture was strange and it was too...savory? Too cheesy is the word I think. But, I spent my money on it so I ate it all anyway! All day I've been craving that Ube latte...if you have a Tours Les Jour or any other cafe/bakery that sells Ube lattes near you, I really recommend trying it! You will not regret it!!! Anywho, I think that's all from me today. I think the next time I work on the site, I'm going to implement a new world with new characters so please look forward to it! Take it easy.
- Ike ／(˃ᆺ˂)＼